


Turmoil/Drift shitposts compilation

by shootertron



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Breeding, Kidfic, Lactation, M/M, Mechpreg, Merformers, Petplay, Polygamy, Sex Tapes, Somnophilia, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Suicide Attempt, dude like he's in a coma, robot babies, robot lactation, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:17:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9651542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shootertron/pseuds/shootertron
Summary: Compilation of my Turmoil/Drift posts from Tumblr, presented in chronological order to represent the flow of my thoughts over time.Obviously canon divergent.Update 2/17/17: more posts, this time all consensual.Update 11/10/17: more posts, a mix of nasty & violent and sweet & gentle





	1. Turmoil/Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some Overlord/Fortress Maximus in this installment, but I removed the tags because I don't want to get people's hopes up whenever I update this fic.

Drift storing Turmoil’s cum and then impregnating himself with Turmoil’s baby to have something to remember him by.

-

Turmoil training Drift to be his perfect, adoring mate that will have litters of bitties for him. All the other Cons are jealous of Turmoil’s pretty conjunx.

-

Drift having babies with Turmoil. Belly gets big, Drift wears a sling to support the weight. He stays in bed and Turmoil attends to his every need - feeding him, massaging him, donating transfluid. They interface constantly and Drift feels better than he has in ages because now he’s warm and full and will be having a family with Turmoil!

The babies get bigger than Drift very quickly and bowl him over when playing.

He has to mix up formula for them or they’ll drink him dry. He’s exhausted from the pregnancy so Turmoil carries him around.

Soon enough the babies get big enough to carry him around :3

-

Idea: Turmoil was the best dick Drift ever had and really attentive as a lover. Losing what they had was extra sad because they really had something going.

-

Turmoil fucking Drift and making him admit he wants Turmoil more than all the other guys he’s been with.

-

Turmoil taking home videos of Drift while Drift is pregnant, including some steamy POV sex tapes. Drift with a healthy glow all over as Turmoil teases open his valve.

-

  * Turmoil marrying Drift in a lavish ceremony, and taking off Drift’s garter and throwing it to the Decepticons in the crowd.
  * Drift wearing a shirt that gets wet, Turmoil gives a thumbs up to how it hugs his form sexily.
  * Turmoil saving footage of Drift being sexy or cute.
  * Turmoil telling Drift “I love you” while Drift is being fucked slowly and sensually.
  * Drift getting big hands on his hips gripping him hard.



-

Turmoil finds Drift out in the wilderness instead of Ratchet and Drift has been injured in a fight, losing energon. He thinks he deserves this for letting Overlord kill all those crew members. Well, he doesn’t have the strength to refuse help.

Turmoil patches up the leak and gives Drift an emergency transfusion. Then Drift gets taken back to Turmoil’s house/ship and rests up. He wakes up in Turmoil’s refuel room with Turmoil preparing to massage him. At first he thinks he’s in trouble because it’s Turmoil.

Turmoil has him repaired and polished until he’s shiny and they live out this domestic fantasy.

Drift confesses that he feels lonely, and is afraid he’ll just be turned out alone and empty. In turn he gets interfaced with and promised “we’re going to start a family” - the two of them are going to help repopulate Cybertron by Drift getting knocked up repeatedly.

Turmoil is a parks and wildlife employee for some organic planet, or a merchant. Anyways that means they have a stable income and plenty of food so Drift can support all those pregnancies.

Drift goes along with it because he wants to be creating new bitlets instead of killing for once, and he is not averse to interfacing at all because Turmoil’s spike is so big and filling, and he gets massaged all over before and after. He doesn’t have to worry about things like the war, or being seen by the Autobots.

Drift is unsure if all of this is real maybe he’s died and gone to the afterlife. He is expecting to wake up one day and find that he’s still alone and starving.

-

Turmoil telling his version of events that’s real different from the comics we’ve read.

And it’s like, I tried my best to be a good mate to Deadlock. I knew he had an addiction problem and the Autobots hurt him real bad and he had trouble trusting others. The only form of comfort he could accept was fucking, so that’s what we did. But he was always a troublemaker and running off by himself. And then he killed his subordinates. I made him leave instead of killing him. And then he fell in with the wrong crowd (Autobots) who take advantage of his desire to be accepted.

Followed by a skit where whoever Drift is with on the Lost Light asks him how he learned to fuck so good and give lavish presents…..Turmoil taught him.

Followed by a skit where the “healthy” partners for Drift are actually assholes.

-

Drift purring because Turmoil filled his tank with warm cum.

-

I want shattered glass Turmoil to kidnap shattered glass Drift, chain him up, and turn him into a Con with cuddles.

-

Drift deciding his best chance at happiness is to become Turmoil’s concubine and have as many bitlets as he wants, and have his frame modified to be better at carrying so his belly can stretch and his limbs have soft protometal on them…….

-

Happily married Drift making Turmoil breakfast in bed while wearing nothing but a frilly apron. Throughout, Turmoil catches glimpses of his dripping valve.

-

Drift playing the role of a rabbit, and Turmoil the role of a hunter.

Drift wearing bunny ears and a buttplug with a pom-pom at the end, to simulate a bunny tail. He wiggles his nose and his butt enticingly.

Turmoil trying to catch Drift in a snare trap, and reeling him in for interfacing.

-

Turmoil feeding Drift his titty milk when Drift is running low on fuel. Those biolights on his belly are really teats.

Having no mouth, he can’t kiss Drift. This is as close as it gets.

-

I like the idea of cold-constructed mechs being eunuchs who only have a rudimentary hole and nub out in front.

Turmoil got fitted with a huge spike, and later on some robot balls. Not all mechs are capable of supporting a huge spike, but tanks are able keep such a huge thing pressurized.

The balls have blue and red indicator lights that show how full they are.

It’s useful for filling up Drift with transfluid for breeding. Drift is so needy and impatient. But he has to wait until the indicator light is on!

-

Turmoil leading pet Drift on a leash. Drift is on all fours and panting from arousal. He is wearing a jewelled collar and harness, and a thread is looped through a piercing on his spike nub.

-

Been thinking of Drift acting like a skittish dog who was once mistreated and abandoned. Who barks and growls at strangers and has nervous tics.

Turmoil must reassure him he’s not in danger! Drift keeps chewing on the furniture and hides in his kennel when Turmoil is away.

-

Drift remembering Turmoil and his valve clenches a little and he gets a boner because the sex they had was so hot. But now Turmoil isn’t around any more :(

-

Younger Turmoil and hardened bitter older Deadlock.

(cons being lax about superior/subordinate relationships)

Turmoil was immediately smitten when he met Deadlock. Megatron assigned them together because he thought they had good chemistry, or Turmoil could keep Deadlock in line.

Deadlock was eager to interface with a big strong tank. But Deadlock accepted Turmoil’s attempts to be affectionate begrudgingly. When he tired from interfacing, Turmoil held him. But when he woke up again he told Turmoil to get off him.

(Turmoil learned about Deadlock’s past and thought Deadlock deserved love and understanding because of how much he suffered. Tanks have coding that makes them protective towards smaller, weaker mechs.)

Slowly, Deadlock became attached to him, eventually moving his things into Turmoil’s quarters.

Turmoil found out Deadlock was cold-constructed and started celebrating his construction day. Or if Deadlock forgot, Turmoil comes up with the idea that the two of them should celebrate their “birthday” on the same day. He wanted to commemorate the day he met Deadlock.

Turmoil gained ranks and Deadlock became his subordinate. Deadlock was a skilled killer, but he’s always pissing off superior officers. He even pissed off Megatron, who spared him from death by virtue of his past service. Maybe that’s how he ended up under Turmoil.

-

Drift licking his own genitals like he’s a dog. Turmoil cooing at Drift because he’s just the cutest doggy.

-

Turmoil and Drift getting back together and having emotional makeup sex. Promising to be better to each from now on.

-

Turmoil frantically tried to save their relationship as Deadlock did things to piss him off. Deadlock spreading rumors behind his back. Deadlock mouthing off and running off to who knows where. Deadlock taking circuit boosters and claiming he has it under control.

Turmoil used his powers as a superior officer to discipline Deadlock, but Deadlock grows to resent to him and his subordinates think he’s grown soft for Deadlock. Things get worse.

Turmoil has to take medicine because of psychosomatic symptoms from the stress Deadlock causes him. He swings between feeling like it’s his fault for not being a good leader and blaming Deadlock for being difficult.

They’re unable to carry on a conversation longer than 5 minutes when they’re not talking about their jobs. Deadlock doesn’t want to open up. He just wants to ride Turmoil’s spike and get off.

Turmoil doesn’t understand why he can’t fix Deadlock’s problems. The only thing he could do was give him physical attention.

-

Mer Turmoil and Drift.

Turmoil is a big orca, Drift is a smaller cetacean.

Their species is hermaphroditic, they start off in an in-between state.

Turmoil mates with Drift until he becomes a fertile carrier.

Drift’s body becomes softer and curvier and his colors change to announce to everyone he is having Turmoil’s merbabies.

His personality also becomes more docile. Initially he was hostile towards Turmoil, but Turmoil courted him until he was in a good place and wanted to have bebs.

-

Mer Drift sucking mer Turmoil’s gigantic orca dick.

-

Turmoil and Drift living together away from factions, Drift get knocked up. Turmoil makes home videos, including a POV sex tape where he’s playing with Drift and rubbing his belly. Drift looks so lively in the video…

-

Drift realizing his true calling in life is not to be an Autobot or Decepticon, but be the beloved pet of Turmoil and make babies to make up for all the deaths he caused. Turmoil doesn’t want Drift to stew in self loathing. He wants Drift to value himself as much as Turmoil loves Drift.

-

Ice-cold Drift wearing a sheer nightgown and a pearl necklace over his soft exposed protoform and holding a gun cause he just came back from shooting Turmoil at a nightclub. Turmoil was getting a lap dance from a dancer who looked suspiciously like Drift and Drift couldn’t leave business unfinished with his ex.

-

~Turmoil and Drift living in peace on a faraway planet~

Drift gets an upset stomach and Turmoil panics because oh no what if Drift is going to die, what if I’m going to lose him again.

So he insists on Drift drinking energon filtered through Turmoil’s body, straight from his fuel nozzles.

Tank milk is sweet…

-

Drift living with Turmoil…

The house has a huge yard that he can frolic in. Turmoil keeps him comfortable and fed. Soft pillows and plenty of toys.

This is the ideal environment in which to breed Drift and have him have litter after litter. There’s room for the bitties when they’re born.

-

Drift breaking into the house of one of the Cons who married a Driftlet, only to find that the couple is very happy together and the Driftlet has been given expensive things to wear.

-

Turmoil taking Drift home in a pet carrier. Drift is scared because he’s been taken to a new and frightening environment. Turmoil lets him get used to it slowly, opening the door to the carrier but letting Drift stay inside if he wants to. There’s a big blanket over the carrier so Drift doesn’t get cold. Turmoil sleeps next to the carrier every night so Drift knows he’s there. Eventually Drift gets comfortable enough to come out of the carrier and sleep with Turmoil.

Turmoil also trains him to get into mating position, giving him lots of praise when he does. Drift wags his butt happily when he’s spiked.

-

Turmoil breeds Drift and um, Cons bid for Drift’s kids when they’re grown up and ready to move out. Turmoil collects a hefty bride price.

Driftlets are like pedigree dogs to Cons because Drift has a reputation for being a good pet. So he passed on his docile demeanor and cuteness to all his kids.

Turmoil screens potential Driftlet owners because he doesn’t want them going to just anybody. Driftlets are highly energetic and require Attention.

Drift is also there when suitors visit, looking all beautiful and demure in a sheer gown that Turmoil made for him.

Drift tries to keep in contact with all of the Driftlets, but it’s hard with how many litters he has! Sometimes Turmoil marries off two Driftlets to one Con so there’s less anniversaries to remember.

-

Some of Drift’s kids take after Turmoil, and he worries they’ll have trouble finding husbands because they’re so big. There’s more demand for demure, delicate racecar pets than sturdy tanklets.

Tanklets need lots of space to frolic around, and have to be taught not to tackle people they like.

Sometimes there’s a suitor who wants a concubine who can take a rougher pounding than a racecar can, or someone in search of a big sweetheart to spike them.

-

Drift tearfully admitting to Turmoil that he let all those Autobots fuck him. He just wanted to be accepted, even if it meant they had 24 hour access to him and Autobots were trying to mate with him whenever he went.

-

Drift getting sad because his period came and that means Turmoil didn’t put a beb in him.

He used to be relieved because his period coming meant none of the Autobots who used him had gotten him pregnant.

Turmoil puts his hand on Drift’s belly and feeding him a special fuel blend to help him deal with the cramps.

-

Drift destroyed his personality core because he felt like he was only good to be used as a frag toy, or the universe would be better off if it didn’t have his personality fouling everything.  
Turmoil finds out that Autobots have designated Drift’s unconscious body as a frag toy, and is furious.  
He fires a few warning shots at the Autobots who have been renting him out and takes Drift back to his ship.  
He carries Drift bridal style into a special room, where he remains.  
Drift is hooked up to a fuel drip and a life signs monitor.  
Turmoil comes in every day to check up on him. Sometimes he brings silk flowers or pieces of sculpted metal.  
Turmoil reads him stories and holds his hand in the hopes he’ll wake up one day, even though it’s unlikely, even after Turmoil had a medic come and fix the damage to Drift’s brain module.  
Maybe Drift becomes a celebrity this way, the “sleeping beauty” doted on by his husband.  
There are bots who would like to see him dead, or think Turmoil is wasting his time.  
But Turmoil never leaves Drift.

Other bots think Turmoil is wasting his time and money, that there are other cute racecars out there.  
But he keeps going at it because he loves Drift.

It’s Tragic and Romantic if Drift never wakes from his coma, and Turmoil keeps vigil by his side forever, but:

Drift wakes from the coma but he can’t walk or talk like he used to because of brain damage. Turmoil helps him with things that he used to be able to do on his own, and takes him to speech/physical therapy.

Drift wondering why anyone would bother putting up with someone like him, when there’s pretty racecars who can earn their keep instead of being a burden like him. He has difficulty fathoming that Turmoil loves him that much and believes. He thinks that he’s such a loathsome person, he’s unworthy of being loved.

Drift is irreplaceable to Turmoil. Of course he’s not going to leave.

Alternate scenario: Turmoil starts interfacing with an unconscious Drift, first in hopes of waking him up, but it becomes another way he bonds with his living doll. Easing open his valve so it’s plush and wet before Turmoil pushes in. Feeling Drift’s pulse and body heat. Turmoil sweet talks, tells Drift how beautiful he is, how wonderful he feels under Turmoil. Turmoil is so gentle and tender with Drift, so much gentler than when he was with Deadlock.  
He cries softly when Drift does not wake. He’s filled with regret that they couldn’t have been together in this way, before the brain injury.  
Soon enough, Drift gets pregnant with Driftlets. The bitlets are born and raised by Turmoil, who teaches them to revere Drift. They celebrate birthdays and sleep by his side. They pose for family portraits where Drift is dressed in splendid silks. Turmoil loves the Driftlets…  
Turmoil lets the Driftlets touch Drift’s pregnant belly when he’s pregnant with the next litter. He explains that bitlets happen when a mech is very, very loved by another mech.  
All the Cons who know Turmoil figure that Turmoil has been fucking Drift, and that’s where the Driftlets come from. They figure that it’s the natural course of action - it would be strange for Turmoil to fuss over “sleeping beauty” and not fucking him.

  
Taking care of Drift puts a strain on Turmoil’s health and finances. He doesn’t care, as long as Drift is alive. He fears he’ll leave this world early - and nobody will be there to take care of Drift. he knows that as soon as he dies Drift will be taken off life support.

Turmoil can’t let this happen, so he hangs on to life even if it’s difficult.

He never questions if Drift would object to being kept like this, because obviously Turmoil is a loving, doting husband?

Cons would start having pilgrimages to Drift’s bedside, after hearing about how long Turmoil has been keeping him. Celebrities come to pay their respects. Drift would be sent gifts by admirers. Cons reporting their ailments are fixed by the peaceful aura Drift emits. But there would also be negative attention. Some Cons would persist in imploring Turmoil to let Drift die. Autobots who hear about “Sleeping Beauty” would rather see Drift dead for his past crimes. Some shots get fired at Turmoil’s base. Turmoil would never cave in to their demands.

-

Breeder Drift whose job is to make babies to send to bot cities with small populations. Drift nurses his kids long enough to give them a strength boost. Turmoil “drying off” a lactating Drift whose kids have been adopted to good homes.

-

Turmoil would breed Drift responsibly, letting him nurse the babies until they’re strong enough to eat unfiltered Energon. Drift would be given a recovery period before he’s bred again. Turmoil would have a vet check on him to make sure the pregnancy goes well!

-

You know what’s cute? Drift having a gigantic tank baby from Turmoil. Tank grows up BIG and can give Drift cuddles when he’s sad.

-  
Fort Max’s tanklets playing with Drift’s tanklets~

They are a little too rough on Drift’s kids because they inherited Overlord’s sadistic tendencies.

Turmoil has to separate them.

-

Fort Max and Drift’s kids go to the same school, so their parents see each other often.

Drift is in the same boat of continuous pregnancies, since he got back together with Turmoil. They both meet while pushing a robot stroller.

Maybe they’ll have a sleepover and pregnant Drift can cuddle with pregnant Fort Max.

Fort Max is astonished that Drift has much more freedom than he has. Turmoil seems like a nice guy.

-

Drift has teats.

Drift is kept by Turmoil.

Turmoil milking Drift’s teats.

Turmoil bottling the milk in fancy glass jars.

Turmoil warming up the milk and sipping it with a curly straw in front of Drift.

Turmoil telling Drift “you taste so good” through sips.

-

Turmoil leaving out desserts for his two adorable pets, Drift and Rodimus.

They wag their tails and eagerly eat the pudding!

Turmoil takes photos and squees internally.

-

Drift becoming a tame little pet for Turmoil, letting go of his anger and guilt.

Turmoil encourages him to cry and ask for help, and come to him for love and affection.

His metal coat becomes glossier and his cheeks more flushed from all the loving!

Everyone can see the difference. He’s much healthier and happier now he’s being taken care of.

-

Deadlock wanting to wake up with Turmoil’s dick inside of him. (delicious drumstick emoji)

Drift dreaming of morning sex, but waking up alone. (sad wilting rose emoji)

-

….you know Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement photo, with the veil and the lingerie?

Imagine Drift posed like that, because he’s having twins sired by Turmoil.

-

If my Turmoil found Drift drunk he’d take Drift home and tuck him into bed (help him vomit too) so nobody would take advantage of him. And then reprimand him in the morning for drinking too much.

-

Turmoil and Drift go to watch fireworks together, but the fireworks sound like gunshots and Drift bolts.

Turmoil frantically searches for Drift.

Drift has run up a tree, or crawled into a hole too small for Turmoil to go through.

In order to lure him out, Turmoil takes out his dick and waves it like it’s a favorite dog toy.


	2. Turmoil/Deadlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two. Rape and corny cliche fanfiction tropes :P  
> Also Deadlock gets turned into a goat at one point.  
> If ideas repeat it's a side effect of my ailing memory.

Deadlock being really eager to interface with Turmoil because it’s so big n ridged for pleasure and fills him up. His favorite way of taking Energon is through Turmoil fragging him. Turmoil has to tell him to slow down.

-

Deadlock being Turmoil’s…cat. Rubbing against Turmoil’s legs, hopping onto Turmoil’s lap, purring when petted, biting if he gets petted in the wrong places.

He also raises up his aft on command because Turmoil conditioned him. He knows when spike is coming and gets excited.

-

Turmoil mating with Deadlock on newly-won territory. Spilling their combined fluids atop the bodies of slain Autobots, hmmm.

-

Turmoil helping Deadlock do a backflip sensually while appropriate music plays, like Britney Spears does in a live performance of “[Touch of My Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q1_VV1krtw)”.

-

So Deadlock was used to being hungry when he living out on the street.

Turmoil finds out and makes sure to fill him up with high grade Energon via fuel line.

Deadlock starts getting teary-eyed because it feels so good, and someone is treating him as someone precious for once.

-

Superior officers taking one look at Turmoil’s second, and wanting that for themselves.

Turmoil offering Deadlock to officers for “private sessions”. He puts a collar and harness on Deadlock, dolls him up to be extra enticing.

Deadlock wants Turmoil to be there. Turmoil holds Deadlock’s legs open so they can fuck him, showing how nice and puffy his valve lips are. Reassures him if the officers have any surprises (like a spike that inflates like a canine phallus). If the officers are so inclined, Turmoil can flip Deadlock over so they can take his aft port, while Deadlock smushes his face against Turmoil’s chest.

The officers remark that Deadlock is so obedient, Turmoil must be an excellent commander. Deadlock loves the attention and the favor from the officers.  ~~I daresay some officers use degrading language, and Turmoil has to prevent Deadlock from punching them in the face.~~

Afterwards, Turmoil fucks Deadlock and washes out the cum from the other con.

-

Deadlock stroking and licking and hugging Turmoil’s gigantic spike for good luck, like it’s a comfort object. Sucking on it when he’s stressed out. Grinding against it and feeling more relaxed after doing so.

-

Deadlock seducing Turmoil in a Quintesson tentacle dress that’s open at the front, exposing his retracted modesty panelling and his painted valve ~

The rest of the dress is designed to show off his racecar physique.

-

Turmoil insisting on Deadlock taking energon from his belly fuel nozzles….little racecar activates his protective instinct. He wants Deadlock to suckle.

Deadlock doesn’t like being coddled like this and would rather drink it from a cube or something.

Turmoil is a little hurt by this refusal…

Hell. Turmoil is going to be the one feeding the bitties when they end up making tons of Driftlets.

-

Other officers want to fight Turmoil, so they can take Deadlock as their own. Deadlock is highly desirable - dangerous, sleek. They want to take a little bit of that wildness, make the famed killer submit.

Not one to let them do as they please, Turmoil vanquishes all his challengers with his strength and wiles.

Deadlock is especially attentive towards him after such duels, riding his spike to take his mind off any wounds sustained during the fight, giving him a good wash, licking his faceplate. Perhaps Turmoil will take him right in front of the spectators around the arena.

-

The idea of Turmoil permanently altering parts of himself to better please Deadlock (who leaves him in the end) is hot. Tragically hot. Especially if he had his front hole sealed up because he knew Deadlock only likes being penetrated.

-

Turmoil is turned on by the thought of other mecha fucking his Deadlock. Turmoil has a cuckold fetish.

- 

Turmoil displaying Deadlock in front of other Decepticon officers. Deadlock is like a leashed dog on his lap.

He turns to Deadlock and says “You’ve grown very fond of me, haven’t you?”, placing a gigantic hand under his chin.

Not wanting to embarrass Turmoil or say yes, Deadlock says nothing, but sucks Turmoil’s fingers.

-

Turmoil showering with Deadlock, and he holds the showerhead to Deadlock’s valve and nub until Deadlock comes.

-

Deadlock getting a new valve lining that leaves a tiny entrance, so Turmoil can be the one to use it for the first time.

The lining expands and calibrates to Turmoil’s spike when it slides in, and creates a valve cavity that’s a perfect fit, so it feels good for both of them.

Turmoil holding a formal wedding ceremony to show other cons that Deadlock is HIS.

-

Turmoil and Deadlock having a baby while imprisoned to avoid execution by Autobots.

Of course it ends in drama! And possibly Rodimus impregnating Turmoil to save him from certain death.

- 

Deadlock sitting on Turmoil’s spike while Turmoil sits in his command chair. Status symbol - “Look at who is sleeping with me”. Nobody dares to stare for too long.

- 

Turmoil sent Lockdown to get Deadlock and told him to lie about who sent him.

Lockdown captures Deadlock but doesn’t return him to Turmoil, instead saying that Deadlock died.

But secretly Lockdown has been keeping Deadlock prisoner and has been training him to be a good pet. Lockdown is a much crueler master than Turmoil ever dared to be.

Some pretty race cars ends up on the exotic pet market that look suspiciously like Deadlock.

By the time Turmoil tracks down Lockdown, Deadlock has been broken and is Lockdown’s dedicated breeder.

Lockdown offers to sell Turmoil a less broken racecar but Turmoil would pay any price to get him back, although he’d prefer to kill Lockdown.

- 

Ariana Grande’s “Side to Side” makes me think of Deadlock wobbling when he walks because he was taking Turmoil’s dick all night long. 

-

Turmoil trying to replace Deadlock with another sports car.

Going to nightclubs and paying too much for dances with Deadlock lookalikes, but it just isn’t the same.

-

“[I’ve been waiting up all night, baby tell me what’s wrong. Gonna make it right, make it all night long](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49lY0HqqUVc)”

(black and white music montage of Turmoil and Deadlock going through the sad cycle of argue and fuck)

-

Deadlock and Turmoil fucking like either of them could die tomorrow.

- 

Turmoil fawning over Deadlock and fucking him carefully and making sure Deadlock has a good time.

Wiping away his tears when he gets sad in the middle of it, due to remembering something painful. Deadlock hopes Turmoil doesn’t notice, but Turmoil notices.

…Turmoil treating him like a poor rescue pet with behavior problems, sometimes. He has to be restrained in expressing affection but it’s hard, Deadlock is adorable and needs love.

-

Turmoil “petting” Deadlock until he is all floppy and relaxed, and not to mention wet. He can even fiddle Deadlock’s sensitive aft port. And he asks mushy questions hinting at wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, since Deadlock is so relaxed and less closed off than normal. Deadlock might be too dense to take a hint, though.

- 

Deadlock as a problem goat who has been bounced from owner to owner (miraculously avoiding being turned into goat chops), and finally he ends up on Turmoil’s goat sanctuary.

Turmoil is an expert on handling goats, and attempts to tame Deadlock through all means necessary.

It’s hard because Deadlock bullies the other does, taking on the herd queen despite his size. He also destroys fencing and knows how to break out of his enclosure.

Imagine Turmoil’s surprise when Deadlock is a person who was turned into a goat.

Deadlock has had some babies because he was used as a dairy goat (small wonder he didn’t abort them).

He might be still lactating when Turmoil picks him up.

Turmoil milking Deadlock and consoling him on what an unfortunate life he’s had, trapped in the body of a goat.

-

Goat Deadlock wants to sleep in Turmoil’s house, not the goat barn. He demaaaaands it. Turmoil is soft-hearted and gives in, but only on the condition that Deadlock doesn’t poop on the carpet.

Deadlock butts Turmoil each morning demanding to be fed.

Turmoil takes him out for walks - he isn’t allowed to roam free because he’s a goat. Deadlock has to put up with wearing a harness.

-

Deadlock had a baby goat but he rejected it because it reminds him of being forcibly bred (to a smelly buck, the indignity). Turmoil adopts the sickly baby goat and bottle feeds it until it’s strong enough, or gets one of the other goats in the sanctuary to adopt it.

Deadlock is one of those goats who lasts a long, long time on one freshening and produces a lot. If he’s not milked for even one day it’s very uncomfortable. Turmoil fails at stopping him from making so much milk. Deadlock doesn’t want baby goats drinking it so, milk for Turmoil, woo.

Goat Deadlock eats a lot of feed. But Turmoil thinks he’s worth it.

…Turmoil fucking Deadlock doggy style in the goat barn, though. Grabbing his horns and squeezing his udder during the act.

-

Deadlock rejected his baby, making it necessary for Turmoil to bottle feed it.

Turmoil milks Deadlock and feeds the baby with the milk.

He hopes Deadlock will accept the baby goat one day, and then the three of them can be a happy family.

-

Turmoil feeding a limbless Deadlock, being very eager to tend to a mech who can’t get around easily.

How did he lose his limbs?  
It’s a mystery.

Perhaps he got caught in an explosion and his replacement parts are in the workshop.

Or Turmoil decided this was the best to prevent Deadlock from harming himself.

-

Con medics being slimy and hitting on patients if they’re hot.

Banged up Cons don’t have much choice because medics are in short supply.

Deadlock gets hit on a lot, especially when getting his valve and spike looked at. Medic asks Deadlock for a “test drive” with the fixed valve. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

He has to be restrained from killing the medic. Maybe even sedated (which causes him to panic when he wakes up).

Turmoil has to be there with him to make sure the medic doesn’t do anything funny and Deadlock doesn’t cause trouble.

Con life is a hellish landscape in this universe…

At least Turmoil is there to comfort Deadlock when he’s panicking :(

-

Deadlock feeling like the closest thing he has to Eternity when he is with the Cons is fucking Turmoil.

-

They were together for so long a pregnancy or two would have been a blip on the radar.

IDW bots are unlikely to get pregnant but it’s Romantic and tragic because the two of them separated in the end….

-

Turmoil trying different sex positions with Deadlock so that Deadlock can see which positions feel the best <3

-

Deadlock having a crappy relationship with sex because some cops or debt collectors raped him in exchange for not arresting him for doing drugs, or selling sexual services, or failing to pay a debt.

And then he meets Turmoil and Turmoil shows him it’s meant to feel good and not shameful or a chore. And that’s the reason Turmoil tests out different sex positions and asks if Deadlock likes them.

Deadlock doesn’t have to debase himself to get the sweet lovins from Turmoil. Turmoil wants to make it clear that sex is good and plentiful and he won’t leave Deadlock out in the cold.

Turmoil’s magical healing cock.

(Yes I know it’s silly and cliched and patronizing.)

-

mmmm, but Turmoil showing off Deadlock’s valve and little external nub to the other Cons in his unit. It’s so gaping and wet and responsive.

-

Megatron and Turmoil showing off their happy second-in-commands simultaneously.

Starscream and Deadlock are all dolled up and saucy for the occasion.

-

Megatron gives Deadlock sexual attention, for a job well-done.

Turmoil worries he’s Deadlock’s second choice, no matter how attentive he is :(

-

Turmoil finding out that Deadlock cries (of happiness) during sex with him and being so very charmed. He has to do this more often if Deadlock is this cute!

-

Deadlock looking forward to working with Turmoil because Turmoil is such a hot piece of aft, what could possibly go wrong?

Deadlock thought he could win the battle of wills against Turmoil instead of being subject to silly expectations like following military protocol and keeping good sleep and eating habits.

When Turmoil got promoted over him he was like, I won’t have to follow the rules if I beguile him enough, right?

-

Drift is an unreliable rememberer, and /wants/ to believe he was special to Megatron.

But Megatron forgot his name a bunch, due to how many Cons there were. Or he knew Deadlock was a good Con but just didn’t see him /that/ way.

And it was Turmoil who treated him as someone special.

But Drift getting attention from anyone but Megatron was like not getting attention at all.

He totally took it for granted that someone was watching out for him, and later came to regret this, bitterly.

-

Deadlock is upset. Kicking over things, trying to smash the window.

Turmoil lets him cry it out.

 


	3. Turmoil's Concubines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turmoil's concubines. Included here because of how much Drift is mentioned ~_~  
> This universe is adjacent to the goatbots universe, but not the same.  
> Autobot pets are talked about on my blog, but the explanation for those will be posted separately.

Turmoil coming home to racecar concubines who clean and massage him, and offer sex. They fawn over him and hope he can give them the D. Turmoil can barely afford all of them, but they’d be heartbroken if he abandoned them with another con.

-

Turmoil couldn’t just get one concubine. They’re like Pringles. Sometimes he watches them snuggle or puts two or three in his lap at a time. They’re soooo cute. Sometimes they hump and make out with each other too.

-

Turmoil’s dick gets blown off in a freak accident, so he has to go the dick store to get a new one.

He brings his entire entourage of racecar concubines to pick one that will satisfy them the most.

The concubines run around the store, testing the merchandise in their hands.

The concubines disagree about which dick Turmoil should buy. Some want what Turmoil had before, others want an even bigger model. One wants one that comes with an inflatable knot.

Turmoil might have to buy a multi attachment…the concubines are going to have to get jobs to pay for these dicks.

Like a job at the sexy carwash, cleaning out the joints of Con grunts.

-

irl polygamy where a dude has lots of wives is often unsexy but it’s very soothing to think of Turmoil keeping pretty racecars that he has sex with. They huddle in a pile after they’re exhausted, and nuzzle each other affectionately.

-

Turmoil’s concubines are all in love with him, whether they want to admit it or not. But no matter how much they love him, he seems distant. Because he’s still torn up over losing Deadlock. They hope that Turmoil will make them conjunxes some day because they’d walk through hell for him.

-

One of Turmoil’s concubines is riding him, or he has them against the berth and is giving them his big spike. Just as they are about to overload, the concubine’s chest plates pop open. Turmoil is…flattered. The concubine is bashful because they don’t want to admit they’re in love. But spark bonding is reserved for conjunxes. He might pet the spark, or momentarily brush with it.

-

I don’t have concrete designs for Turmoil’s concubines yet.

Sometimes I just imagine them as robot heads on voluptuous bodies.

Similar in demeanor to the Nymphs in Waterhouse’s “Hylas and the Nymphs”.

I imagine them with many tropes associated with odalisque paintings but without the “exotic” settings.

Imagining one of them wearing Bjork’s pearl dress from the “Pagan Poetry” video.

([references here](http://robocoochie.tumblr.com/post/150854903782/i-dont-have-concrete-designs-for-turmoils#notes))

-

Turmoil falls on hard financial times. meaning he has to get rid of some of his concubines. Tearful goodbyes are given as he finds them husbands who can support them better than he can. But the concubines are distraught because they love him.

- 

Turmoil gets enough money to take them back.

He goes to one to take them back, he apologizes for not being a good enough master and promises to treat them right, offering to bond.

But finds that the concubine has given in and spark bonded with their new husband, who was smitten quickly with a pretty racecar.

But the concubine’s spark feels like it’s tearing in two because they love Turmoil!

What can a mech do?

-

**Hooters for bots**

Autobot pets (or other types of Concubines kept by Decepticon officers) working service jobs. Scooping popcorn and ushering at a cinema that plays Con films. Collectible popcorn bags have cartoon art of popular pets. Autobot pets working at a diner, serving waffles for bots. The cutest ones get more tips and patrons ordering more things in order to spend more time with them. Some bars have pets without masters. They work there until someone takes them home. Some bars serve robot milk, and for an extra fee the server will squeeze the milk out into a cup in front of a patron. Sometimes there’s a creepy mech who tries to grope a server. If Turmoil finds out one of his little cars has been creeped on, that mech is in for a world of pain.

-

After Drift moves in with Turmoil, the concubines worry Turmoil won’t need them any more.

Turmoil pays more attention to Drift than them, but Drift in turn is sad that the concubines can’t have the kind of True Love he receives from Turmoil.

The concubines are impressed by how easily Drift takes Turmoil’s spike. They often struggle to do so, and sometimes it hurts. But Drift can slide it right in, and he can also take Turmoil’s spike in his mouth farther than any of them. So they watch him in fascination, feeling the little bump Turmoil’s spike makes in his plating as it moves in and out.

Drift living with Turmoil means Drift gets pregnant. A lot. Turmoil is going to breed him so many times.

The concubines become smitten with Drift’s kids.

Turmoil’s concubines nag him to spark merge and knock them up because they too want adorable bitties.

Meanwhile they are fascinated by Drift’s belly, cuddling him whenever they can, and asking how it feels. If they’re close to Drift, they can rub his belly.

-

Turmoil with a pregnant concubine leaning against him. He is petting them gently. The concubine leans back. They are pregnant, belly soft and heavy. Turmoil teases them for being such a naughty racecar and getting knocked up like this. They retort that they wouldn’t have gotten pregnant if Turmoil hadn’t kept putting his spike in them! Turmoil is already hard again, spike rubbing against the concubine’s belly.

-

([Link to a dress that one of the concubines would wear](http://robocoochie.tumblr.com/post/151309861917/reginalucem-art-nouveau-fantasy-gown-by-firefly#notes).)

-

(Lies in bed thinking about Turmoil playing chase with all his concubines) (They pretend to not want to be caught) (When he catches one, it’s sex time)

-

Turmoil’s concubines praying that Turmoil will make a full recovery, after he got caught in an explosion. Among kept mechs there is an impish minicon god who answers prayers. Stone and metal-carved art depicts a golden, horned minicon with an engagement collar but no husband.

According to legend, the minicon god lost his bulk a very long time ago and searches the universe endlessly for him, binge eating and being taken by any mech he can to soothe his sadness.

So that no kept mechs suffer the same fate he sends them aid.

But he is swamped with requests, so he can’t answer every prayer.

-

Turmoil sending off one of his concubines to live with a mech who has time and money to take care of them. He has to show the new master how to milk the concubine, who is skittish. Concubine is commanded to get on all fours, and Turmoil grabs them from behind to show the proper milking technique. Concubine has been producing milk for a while now…the thought of being given away or milked by a stranger is heartbreaking (especially if they had a kid with Turmoil). They initially kick and shy away from their new master.

-

One of Turmoil’s concubines is granted a wish from Unicron. They wish that they could become Turmoil’s favorite, perhaps even a conjunx. But after they make the wish, Turmoil finds a dead Autobot on the battlefield - Drift. Turmoil is heartbroken for a long time. He then makes the concubine his bondmate because there’s no more use in hanging onto the memory of Deadlock. The concubine wishes they hadn’t made the wish because of how hurt Turmoil seems. But Unicron doesn’t do takebacks.

-

Turmoil’s kept racecars competing for affection. One of them loses every time. They feel like a failure and lose the will to eat the food Turmoil leaves out, because obviously they don’t deserve it. Turmoil takes them to a medic dedicated to kept racecars after noticing how grey and listless them seem. The racecar tells the medic “you should just put me down” because without Turmoil’s love, life isn’t worth living. The medic is furious at Turmoil for letting this happen, and gives him a dressing down for taking too many racecars as pets.

-

Flash game like [this](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ferryhalim.com%2Forisinal%2Fg3%2Fcasanova.htm&t=OTk3Y2QyMTk2NWE0NjU4MDM0ZjY0YWMwZjI2MjVlMDcwMmM4ZDAzNyw2NElNUkNnMA%3D%3D&b=t%3AP6ntfNOSrOfSUuIL5vfb7A&p=http%3A%2F%2Frobocoochie.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F155345312457%2Fflash-game-like-this-except-its-turmoil-kissing&m=1) except it’s Turmoil kissing his concubines.

-

Turmoil insisting his concubines are fragile and need to be protected, from being in a warzone for example.


	4. More shitposts: part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/18/2017. A huge credit to an anonymous collaborator who has been helping me come up with these scenarios over Skype, and who prefers to be referred to by a "porn star name". So I will refer to him as "Porno Anon". Some of the lines have been copied verbatim from him. Posts where this happened are prefaced by a "**".
> 
> The sex in this installment is all consensual, but there are descriptions of pregnancy, sex work, somnophilia, orgasm denial and cum inflation. And mush. The cum inflation scenario was inspired by [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1979547/chapters/4285233).

Drift wanders a vast garden alone and pregnant. Holding his pregnant belly as he walks through this unreal Eden.

Someone draped jewels around his waist that clink when he walks. His weapons are missing. Should anyone or anything attack him, he would be vulnerable.

Still, he feels safe, like some higher power is watching over him and will shield him from harm.

He doesn’t see anyone else here. He talks to the unborn bitlets. He feels warm and full, a dreamlike state.

The sky here is artificial, a high ceiling that changes colors through the hours of the day. During the night a soft light shines from millions of pinpoints on the ceiling. He does not recognize these constellations.

He remembers laying with Turmoil under these stars, being pinned against the soft mossy ground. His chest swelling with love and spiraling open. A warm feeling between his thighs.

But how could it be? Turmoil died before he came to this place.

He supposed that this was the Afterspark, and was being sent visions of everyone he had ever wronged. Pleasing Turmoil was simple; it was an easy start before the real punishment. All he had to do was lay back and let Turmoil take him.

But now Turmoil isn’t here any more. Drift feels his spark ache. He looks around, and finds not a soul or a rustle in the leaves.

Alone now.

-

Proposition: Drift is an unreliable rememberer, and _wants_ to believe he was special to Megatron.

But Megatron forgot his name a bunch, due to how many Cons there were. Or he knew Deadlock was a good Con but just didn’t see him _that_ way.

And it was Turmoil who treated him as someone special.

But Drift getting attention from anyone but Megatron was like not getting attention at all.

He totally took it for granted that someone was watching out for him, and later came to regret this, bitterly.

-

Deadlock is upset. Kicking over things, trying to smash the window.

Turmoil lets him cry it out.

-

Drift: among Autobots, without Turmoil.

Drift finds penetration unsatisfying or even painful because he had his valve calibrated to fit Turmoil’s spike exactly when he was Deadlock.

No other spike will do. Turmoil had a unique spike shape for his size class, so other large bots are out of the question.

A caring bot will fist Drift and try to get him off that way.

-

Living together after banishment: Drift’s thighs look so dainty when Turmoil grabs them. Turmoil has **huge** hands. Turmoil loves running his big hands over Drift’s hips and waist to feel his curves. Running his hands over Drift’s aft.

No matter how big and bad Drift may appear to others, he’ll always be small and adorable to Turmoil.

-

Drift is rich because he made a lot of money when Turmoil rented him out to other Cons.

Led him on a leash and had him crawl on all fours. Put a sexy harness on him. Pierced nub.

He was  **super**  popular as a party favor.

Deadlock insisted on being supervised by Turmoil, always. If Deadlock hadn’t insisted, Turmoil would have gone anyways.

He didn’t want Deadlock ending up beaten and bleeding in a hotel room after a bunch of clients did more than what was originally agreed upon.

In this alternate reality where they get a house together, the house was paid for by Drift’s savings (the same savings he used to buy the Lost Light for Rodimus).

-

Turmoil setting up a bubble blowing machine and having his adorable doggies Drift and Rodimus jump up to pop them.

-

Turmoil arranging staged kidnappings of Drift so Drift can experience random cocks in him (under Turmoil’s supervision).

Drift loves it.  
Especially if this is how he’s introduced to sires for Driftlets.

-

Turmoil wearing a gigantic shirt that says “NASTY DECEPTICON” on it, hinting at A Good Time.

-

Turmoil sadly resigning to Never Love Again because of how his breakup with Deadlock went. Love distracts you from the bigger picture. It makes you put your wellbeing on the line for little reward. It’s a [losing game](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nMO5Ko_77Hk).

His underlings notice the change. Now his heart is cold and hard for good.

**

Back when Deadlock was under his command, Turmoil would collect [hot](https://68.media.tumblr.com/41a1962c428144d26ee7e494eefed6d9/tumblr_olhxvoA8s91tgd89fo6_1280.png) [hunky](https://68.media.tumblr.com/16cb3f5055bfe784e3deb6abaa361648/tumblr_olhxvoA8s91tgd89fo8_1280.png) [underlings](https://68.media.tumblr.com/f089a7a68f80d8f112eb5b1bd7465eb5/tumblr_olhxvoA8s91tgd89fo9_1280.png) to satisfy Deadlock’s needs.

Turmoil had important matters to tend to and couldn’t be there to fuck Deadlock as much as Deadlock needed it. Even then, Deadlock was hard to sate, despite several soldiers pounding away at him at once. 

Two big underlings grabbing him filling him at once were  _nearly_  as good as Turmoil’s spike. It took a whole unit to satisfy him.

The underlings were EAGER to do their duty. The devoted underlings were so eager, they sometimes slobbered on him.

They were forbidden from riding Deadlock’s spike because Turmoil wanted it to atrophy to a nub from disuse. But they could use the valve, the mouth, or the aft. Which they did.

Deadlock loved how adoring the underlings were when they were allowed to service him! If only they’d been as eager to follow his military commands – but ultimately, they answered to Turmoil.

The first one or two times, Deadlock was un-used to taking an entire unit of Cons, and a little bit nervous. The underlings did look a tad intimidating.

Turmoil fed Deadlock an aphrodisiac to get him to relax. It worked, really well. While Turmoil wasn’t looking, Deadlock exhausted the whole crew and jumped Turmoil as soon as he came back.

Deadlock was asleep on top of a pile of spent minions. He needed copious refueling the next day. Straight from Turmoil’s fuel lines.

It was so good, and the idea of Deadlock getting taken by hot hunky Cons turned Turmoil on a LOT, but alas, they couldn’t do this all the time.

Turmoil liked having a desperately hungry Deadlock sucking on his lines, but they both had important things to do. 

**

Turmoil plugs up Deadlock with a tank filled with transfluid and leaves for important business. Turmoil’s the only one who can remove the plug and he’s gone for a  _while_.

The fluid sloshes around in Deadlock’s tank the whole time, keeping him aroused and stumbling from side to side.

Being unable to overload from his valve. Deadlock is Suffering. Rubbing his tiny nub spike only makes it worse!

By the time Turmoil comes back, Deadlock can’t stop squirming. Turmoil makes him WAIT. He likes to see Deadlock squirm. Turmoil teases, asking if Deadlock missed him (of course!)

Deadlock growls about how he only missed being able to get off.

“Am I only a toy to you?” Turmoil asks, pretending to be hurt.

Deadlock, irritated, says something to the effect of “ **No!**  If you were a **toy** I would be **on** your **spike**   _right now_.”

Turmoil continues his charade, rubbing Deadlock’s full belly. Deadlock whines, too impatient for foreplay. He may get teary-eyed from the frustration. He tries to grind on Turmoil, at least.

It’s so cute with Deadlock is desperate like this. He’s _so_ desperate he doesn’t mind the huge mess that results when the plug is pulled out. Nope. He might overload a little as it flows out of him.

And when Turmoil has Deadlock on his dick he’s all mushy about it, holding Deadlock’s hands and whatnot. Deadlock isn’t complaining, not when he has that spike inside of him.

Turmoil hopes to cuddle afterwards. He says “I missed you too.”

If he wears out Deadlock enough they can cuddle without Deadlock being so self-conscious about it. And it works! Deadlock is fast asleep in his bed.

Deadlock tosses and turns. He sounds so sad in his sleep. Turmoil holds him tight and tries to make it better.

~~Sometimes petting his valve makes it better, sometimes it just makes it worse.~~

If Deadlock says he’s running empty in his sleep, Turmoil hooks up a fuel line, so he can wake up feeling full.

Fuel sharing is supposed to be an intimate thing, something that Conjuges do. Sometimes medics do it in case of emergency, but Turmoil wants to believe they’re married.

Turmoil can’t imagine being with another bot in  **that**  way. Can’t. He just wants Deadlock.

Sometimes he says mushy things during sex. Drift would look back in later years and feel a twinge of sadness because he  _meant it_.

But Deadlock just wants Turmoil to fuck him and stop being so mushy. 

**

Someday after the war, Turmoil swears he’ll do nothing but fuss over Deadlock…and maybe put some bebs in him.

Thinking about the life they’ll have together, [after the war](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4yG8caPPY1Y&t=ZTE0OTczMDU2NzEyMTE4NjJjYjBkYjY1MzE4Y2ZjYWFiZmUzY2RiNixGdFJDRjF1Sw%3D%3D&b=t%3AP6ntfNOSrOfSUuIL5vfb7A&p=http%3A%2F%2Frobocoochie.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F157386135002%2Fmore-mush&m=1), gives him something to hold onto.

Turmoil gets sappy sometimes, and tells Deadlock all about it. 

“We’ll have a house on a hill that faces the [rising sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6tfljPS8kU). The light will hit it just right when the sun comes out. There will be a big yard for our children and pets, and a porch for us to sit together and watch them play.”

Of course, it’s the Con equivalent of dirty, dirty talk, and Deadlock is blushing furiously.

He thinks it’s scandalous. Can’t Turmoil go back to talking about how much he likes plowing Deadlock’s valve?

Turmoil grabs Deadlock’s hand, and looks him in the eye. He means it.

Deadlock shudders and grabs for Turmoil’s spike. Let’s see him try to be ridiculous while he’s being sucked!

Deadlock tries to fight the achy feeling he feels thinking about the things Turmoil said. 

The best way to fight these feelings is with sex. Or literal fighting. Right?

Turmoil’s underlings and Deadlock’s underlings have an inkling that  **somebody**  is in love. They probably tease either of them for it.

Heck, picture a Decepticon-run Tunnel of Love ride. Picture Turmoil and Deadlock on a gigantic swan-shaped boat bobbing in water filled with glitter and rose petals. Picture them holding hands in the dark tunnel.

There’s underlings in that tunnel. Comical bots if not for their fearsome reputations. They try to take night vision video footage of the two, to sell to the media or to have some of that love rub off on them. Secretly, they catch glimpses of the two hugging and kissing.

Suppose the Autobots find out about this relationship from these underlings. Would it negatively affect how they view Drift? That he was enamored with a nasty, nasty Decepticon such as Turmoil?

Or would others take it as a sign that Drift always had the capacity to love, a positive quality? He was an equally nasty Con at the time, after all.

 


	5. More shitposts: part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual violence everywhere  
> Some AUs are included  
> Some Lockdown/Drift  
> Some goat au  
> Some humanformers with Drift being a very fem guy who goes on HRT to grow boobs and gets bottom surgery.
> 
> Some anon asks with my comments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IRL is hectic, so I haven't been able to compile these, but I'm going to post this and return to working.

I know it’s problematic because it’s like someone writing up tragedy porn on the website of domestic abuse shelter but: Turmoil writing up sentimental blog entries for all his rescue goatbots. 

“How could anyone show these girls anything but love?”

Turmoil lowkey shaming all the cruel bots in the universe who care more about their bottom line than the welfare of goatbots.

Turmoil cuddling a meekly smiling wether.

Photos of does feeding their babies. They won’t be separated.

Photo of a doe who lost a leg to corrosion getting a new one. 

Photos of rescue goats playing with Turmoil’s family. 

Drift writes blog entries too, with added references to Primus’ love.

-

Deadlock demanding to smell Turmoil’s dick because he thinks Turmoil has been with other racecars u___u 

(He hasn’t)

-

I think among the Cons, they had celebrity couples that non-famous Cons would aspire to be like.

Megatron and his concubines: Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave. 

(we know, we know, they were all dysfunctional couplings in their own way)

Turmoil and Deadlock.

Commanders everywhere were relieved when Turmoil and Deadlock broke up because they were setting a bad example. Turmoil was way too lenient in their opinion. They didn’t want their underlings romanticizing insubordination!

-

Anon: “ _Turmoil lovingly breeding Deadlock full of cute bitlets?? Deadlock developing cute boobs to feed the bitlets?? Turmoil drinking from them too???_ ”

I actually think about this a lot. But for me it’s teats or an udder.

Turmoil would need a mouth to suck on Deadlock. Or a curly straw. I like mouthless mechs that have just a hole for fuel but also: Turmoil would want to  **taste**  Deadlock.

Deadlock is self-conscious about being so vulnerable in this state. He doesn’t want to be away from the action for too long! Turmoil wants him to take a break to take care of the bitlets and get his teats massaged.

-

Anon: “ _okay, Deadlock with teats that seem to always be full with how many sparklings he's having? Turmoil loving to squeeze and massage them??_ ”

They are very soft and warm.

Deadlock didn’t even know he had those protocols. 

Deadlock blushes when he feels how full and heavy his teats are. They have to be pumped or suckled. He doesn’t know what this mushy feeling is. Cons should be tough and scary, not like this. The bitlets are too cute…and he just pushed out twins. They’re making cooing noises while sucking.

-

Anon: “hghg i cant stop thinking abt deadlocks spike-nub.. and like how maybe when early in their interfacing that turmoil was curious if deadlock would like spiking him but when they tried deadlock was irritable and secretly upset bcus turmoil is so much larger than him and how his spike is so small it couldnt possible bring turmoil and pleasure or fill him up the way turmoils spike does for deadlock, so later on turmoil has it modified into the nub so he doesnt have to worry abt it any more ^^”

After experiencing Turmoil’s dick he couldn’t ever go back to spiking. Deadlock loved having the little nub rubbed though.

-

Goat Deadlock is on the milkstand. Turmoil carried him there because he was resisting.

Deadlock kicks the milk bucket because he thinks being milked is weird!

Turmoil tries to calm him down because a full udder is an uncomfortable udder, he just needs to get the milk out. He suggests an automatic milker if Deadlock reeeally doesn’t want Turmoil’s hands squeezing his teats.

-

Other Cons hearing Turmoil and Deadlock go at it, hearing how much Turmoil is enjoying Deadlock from the way the two of them are clanging, how Turmoil is growling. And they start self-servicing. Wishing they were Turmoil, Deadlock, or both.

- 

Deadlock and Turmoil are on a long ship ride. Turmoil is occupied with the controls, but Deadlock is horny.

He goes over to one of the levers on the floor. There is a smooth, knobby handle on the lever. Deadlock straddles and sinks down on it.

Deadlock thrusts the handle in and out of his valve frantically, rubbing his tiny spike as he bobs up and down. He moans with each thrust. 

However, the lever causes some navigation equipment to go haywire, requiring Turmoil to go up and fix it in order to get the ship back on course.

In the end, Turmoil has to pilot with Deadlock in his lap, riding his dick. It’s what he has to do to keep Deadlock pacified.

- 

Deadlock walking with wobbly legs because he got plowed by Turmoil and he’s still feeling the aftershocks. He makes funny faces in front of the other Cons and everybody knows why.

-

Drift accidentally emails Rodimus a dick pic. 

 I know what you’re thinking: “Drift sent Rodimus a picture of his own dick!" 

 No! The dick belongs to  **Turmoil**.

 And what a splendid dick it is. It’s HUMONGOUS, for one. It’s got plenty of ridges, for two. And the bot it’s attached to, even though his face is cropped out, looks like a  ** _hunksicle_**.

 Rodimus calls Drift in for a meeting. Drift is scared stiff, anticipating a verbal dress-down. To Drift’s surprise, Rodimus immediately inquires where he can get his hands on this dick!

Turmoil taking Deadlock in the command room.

And then he carries Deadlock to his bedchambers where they can do it again, and again. Until Deadlock is satisfied. They can be happy together, at least for this time.

Deadlock lying on the berth, looking up at Turmoil hazily.

Deadlock is embarrassed by how watery-eyed he gets in these moments. His face is a wet mess.

It’s bad enough his valve and spike squirt all over the place. Argh!

-

Turmoil finding out parts of Deadlock are erogenous zones, like his shoulder pylons.

 

One day he starts rubbing Deadlock and is surprised by the funny faces Deadlock makes when he strokes certain parts of him that aren’t his interface equipment.

 

Deadlock loves it. Not many mechs have paid this much attention to him. Though he’s very self-conscious about how turned on he is.

 

-

Deadlock sitting around a campfire with his stronk commander, Turmoil. Turmoil snatches him up and tickles him. It turns into a wrestling match which turns into a hot frag with Turmoil holding Deadlock by the belly.

-

Deadlock taking leave or getting re-assigned a paperwork job so he can have time away from the battlefield to have Turmoil’s babies（Φ ω Φ）

He’s embarrassed and/or restless about it but the thought of procreating with Turmoil gives him the warm fuzzies.

-

Turmoil interfacing with Deadlock in front of a crowd as part of a Decepticon fertility/victory rite.

It’s superstitious, but nobody’s complaining.

-

Deadlock lying down with both his fuel tank and valve full of Turmoil’s cum. Drooling a bit.

Turmoil paid a lot of attention to him…such a pretty racecar.

-

Turmoil transferring his memories to Deadlock via his cum, like I just read in a fic.

Showing Deadlock just how much “I love you” during a frag session and how happy he is that Deadlock is letting Turmoil inside his valve.

Deadlock is embarrassed by the mushiness. Turmoil wishes Deadlock would understand now.

-

Megatron playing matchmaker and putting Turmoil and Deadlock together because he thinks they’ll make a good couple. He is pleased when he sees them being lovey dovey with each other.

-

Turmoil realizes Deadlock has skin hunger and needs some cuddling. He snuggles Deadlock whenever possible.

Deadlock makes pouty faces but still clings to Turmoil.

Turmoil calls him pet names. Deadlock finds it embarrassing, but he doesn’t want to let go. Deadlock’s clinginess just makes him cuter in Turmoil’s eyes.

Deadlock can’t help being cute!

Turmoil loves stroking his finials. Deadlock makes happy faces when they’re touched. 

When they see the two together, cons congratulate Turmoil on his happy marriage. They know Deadlock is happy when he’s in Turmoil’s arms all the time.

Deadlock being….happy when Turmoil takes him. Deadlock isn’t used to being happy. He might even open his chest plates and rub sparks with Turmoil.

Megatron thinks he is a good matchmaker, putting the two of them together like this. 

(thanks porno anon)

-

Turmoil holding Deadlock’s legs open so another bot can see the goods and take Deadlock *heart* 

Deadlock is purring. Turmoil starts fingering him. 

A beautiful sight.

-

 

Turmoil ordering Deadlock to cum by riding Turmoil’s spike on camera.

Deadlock with tears in the corners of his eyes because it feels so good to be ordered around and put on display.

(a little D/s in the bedroom)

-

Deadlock is Secretly a Girl and Turmoil Rapes Her After Discovering This Secret

Deadlock is Tamed by Turmoil’s Dick

-

Megatron having Deadlock “gifted” to Turmoil, as a reward for good service. His very own racecar to love and cherish. Megatron anticipates these two will be compatible - and besides, he needs someone to balance Deadlock’s impulsiveness.

For fap reasons let’s say robot hymens are a thing. He had Deadlock re-sealed so Turmoil can break his seal. Theoretically Deadlock will imprint on the mech who deflowers him and Megatron wants the two of them to bond.

There’s a grand bonding ceremony, Megatron attends. Deadlock got a new paintjob and polish for this. The Cons in the audience shout obscene suggestions at the newlyweds. Deadlock feels a little shy because all this attention is on him, and Turmoil is trying to make it feel special.

When the actual sex happens it’s amazing. 

Deadlock’s first time was underwhelming, or downright unpleasant. But with Turmoil it’s wonderful! Like a faerie tale.

Turmoil learned how to “make love” from his commander when he was a new bot. It helped to know what a good spiking feels like.

His comrades asked him to spike and finger them. The first few times were awkward because he didn’t know what he was doing. He felt so bad because he didn’t even have a mouth to kiss other bots with.

But by the time he takes Deadlock home he’s a pro at it! He gives Deadlock amazing wedding night sex! Deadlock feels like the most beautiful conjunx in the galaxy. 

The bonding is a success and they become very close. Cons marvel at Lord Megatron’s wisdom.

-

Deadlock being so very happy down to his core that Turmoil is taking him! Only happy tears. He never thought he’d have someone who loved and cherished him without reservation, not after Gasket died.

He feels good and pure when his valve calibrates to Turmoil’s spike. It makes up for all the terrible mechs who hurt him.

(Like A Virgin by Madonna plays in the background)

-

Turmoil unbirthing Deadlock, so he can keep Deadlock safe inside of him forever.

It’s the only way to ensure that he’s safe from harm! 

He’ll install a belly window so Deadlock can see outside.

He cover the window when it gets too scary (much to Deadlock’s chagrin, cause Turmoil is overly protective of his precious racecar)

-

Turmoil wanting Deadlock to put a baby in him

-

Anon: “ _turmoil enters heat, that also sends deadlock into rut, but deadlock doesnt feel worthy enough/ or that turmoil would want to carry(his sparklings) so he locks himself in his hab and ends up humping a pillow and fantasising, hes so preoccupied that he doesnt notice turmoil hacking his lock until turmoil is grabbing him off the bed, deadlock is worried and confused until turmoil hops on the bed and presents himself then deadlock cant resist mounting and sparking him up_ _unfortunately deadlock cant even fill turmoils gestation chamber even a quarter, so turmoil has to accost him over the next few days to get his fill, dragging him into the nearest closet to ride dat dick”_

woot

Turmoil doesn’t want any other transfluid but Deadlock’s…

-

I’ve noticed that English-language Turmoil/Deadlock fics tend to make Deadlock have a past full of fucking other mechs for drug money.

While in Japanese fics, Deadlock is a virgin. 

I wonder why this is.

(I read a fic where Turmoil was careful and loving for Deadlock’s first time. I liked that a lot?)

-

Turmoil got Deadlock to spike him, once. It was a bit difficult because Deadlock’s spike had atrophied to a nub by that point. It was more like frotting. More for the principle than for the overload.

But Turmoil kept the transfluid from that mating for years and years. Treasured it.

And when the time came his systems came online and he became pregnant from the stored transfluid. A little something to remember Deadlock by.

Perhaps he had a mixed litter of tanklets, because he was also storing away transfluid from the commander who he had his sexual debut with…

Turmoil would be fiercely protective of the tanklets from this pregnancy. They’re all he has left of the ones he loved long ago…

-

Deadlock walked through the flagship with a wobble, transfluid sloshing in his tank. It was disorienting, being pulled this way and that by the heavy load. His plating bulged out, giving him the appearance of someone who had eaten too much, or perhaps a mech carrying a newspark.

Whenever he passed other soldiers they would stare for a moment, but quickly avoid his line of sight. They knew not to mess with him, or the Commander who was responsible for Deadlock’s current state.

As he walked, the transfluid pressed against his front wall in a wall that made his valve lips flush with heat and wetness behind his panel. By the end of the day he would have to relieve himself.

He stood in the fuel line and received his rationed meal, looking up at the server without a bit of shame.

If he had to waddle , the mighty Deadlock waddled with honor!

He sat alone as he took the fuel. Nobody bothered him, although some muttered. They all knew what had transpired in Commander Turmoil’s private quarters.

- 

Hm, so Deadlock has been newly-assigned to Turmoil. 

Turmoil wants to be a hot commander, tries to dominate and force Deadlock to make a good impression. Has to show Deadlock that he’s strong and can protect and care for his subordinates.

The problem is he’s not very experienced at this at all. He says all the sexy possessive lines but Deadlock sees right through him.

So it ends up with Deadlock surprising him with a passionate kiss and some teasing about how cute he is, trying to impress the older and more experienced Deadlock.

Deadlock has Turmoil flip on his back and rides the big tank spike until he’s satisfied.

Turmoil is totally flustered, but that makes him fall in love with Deadlock.

-

Turmoil setting up a bubble blowing machine and having his adorable doggies Drift and Rodimus jump up to pop them ^_^

-

Turmoil arranging staged kidnappings of Drift so Drift can experience random cocks in him (under Turmoil’s supervision).

Drift loooves it.  
Especially if this is how he’s introduced to sires for Driftlets, ohoho.

-

Turmoil having Drift, Rodimus, AND Wing as his pets.

He’s so happy that he has three little bots the size of Drift to love.

-

I imagine Turmoil and Drift’s kids being in their 20s when they married off.

They are rather sheltered and naive 20 somethings though. They got an Education, they know how to make things and keep a house, but they are overly trusting of authority. Their parents tried to warn them about the hazards of being alive but they still aren’t street smart.

This is a terrible thought but: that’s why they have big strong protective Cons as their betrothed. If they picked their own conjuges they’d probably go off with someone No Good and unable to support them.

-

Drift lying on a blanket beneath a cherry tree with Turmoil. Turmoil isn’t sure quite why Drift is so into cherry trees but they make him so happy, and that makes Turmoil happy. So when he settles down to put his own babies in Drift, he has a bunch of them planted. The cherry trees and the bitties get bigger at the same time. Drift is always under them, all round with the next beb, while the others run around and play fight. He lounges like a cat, exposing his big belly.

(thanks porno anon)

-

Drift is a beautiful boy with silky, long silver hair, like a bishounen samurai from a video game or a serial comic.

He was born with a dick and balls, but they are very small.

After many trials he returns to Turmoil, so the two of them can be married. Turmoil is overjoyed to have his dear one back.

They have a wedding attended by all their friends. Turmoil wears the black and white men’s wedding kimono. Drift wears a colorful uchikake and flowers in his hair.

On the wedding day, Turmoil has Drift’s balls chopped off, so Drift doesn’t have to worry about them any more. Having those parts distressed him.

Drift joins Turmoil’s collection of concubines, beautiful women who defected to the Decepticons. They accept him as one of them. Drift lives a married life wearing pretty clothes.

Being castrated improves Drift’s overall mood. The concubines love their new friend and how agreeable he is.

Turmoil feeds Drift estrogen pills so he softens up and grows breasts. Drift is delighted that he’s getting so soft, and his breasts are so sensitive now. The concubines like to comment on how big they’re getting.

Soon enough, they get big enough for him to wear bras under his beautiful silk clothes.

Turmoil’s concubines sometimes get pregnant with his children. Drift puts his face against their bellies to feel the babes kicking. He’s fascinated. He wishes he could get pregnant and nurse a baby :(

Turmoil and the concubines manage to induce Drift to lactate, and Drift nurses the babies when their mamas aren’t available. He may even nurse them longer than their mamas would like because he adores them so much. Turmoil takes Drift’s side when the concubines complain that kids shouldn’t nurse that long.

Oh and Drift has always had anxiety about his penis. He doesn’t like the idea of penetrating others or being expected to perform in that capacity. So Turmoil pays for him to get a vaginoplasty, so his dick gets converted to a clit and a functional neovagina.

Recovery takes a while and Drift has to get used to this wet hole where no hole was before. He has to dilate it and that feels funny! He has to be assisted with it by Turmoil and co.

And when it’s finally ready for Turmoil’s dick the sex is so good. Turmoil loves Drift’s beautiful soft breasts and rubs his dick on them often. And Drift’s pussy hugs his dick so well. He is so happy Drift is happy…..

Happy end.

-

Lockdown kidnaps Drift and turns him into a sex slave and breeder. Drift spends his days chained up, a kept thing.

Turmoil busts in and gives Lockdown a piece of his mind. He goes to rescue Drift, only to find him swelled up with the latest litter.

Turmoil takes him back to the ship, to be inspected by a medic. Turmoil asks Drift he wants the developing sparks taken out. Drift doesn’t know. He’s so unsure what he really wants.

He thinks Turmoil will want them taken out, so he can spike Drift and impregnate him with his own kids. Because that’s why Turmoil came back for him, right? To take what is rightfully his.

-

Turmoil petting pregnant Drift because he read that litters of all sorts are friendlier if their carrier gets lots of love and petting during pregnancy.

-

welp I have a sexual thing for young adults being married off or offered in marriage like they’re pedigreed dogs.

Their parents insist they inherited many good traits, like patience and gentleness. Potential spouses are shown the home environment. The best people pets come from loving homes that knew how to discipline without being cruel.

“See, we bred and raised them to be sweet and loving! Please consider taking one of our darlings home!”

Previously adopted (married) adult children are insisted to be just as valuable and good by their parents. Having sex doesn’t devalue them…previously married people pets have a lot to offer, see. 

………40 something people being hawked by their elderly parents like they’re older dogs in need of a forever home.

Well of course I imagine this situation with Drift and Turmoil’s kids.  
Driftlets crying because their first loves dumped them. Those bots thought they could have a one-night stand, but Driftlets thought it would be forever. Turmoil and Drift have to comfort them and/or get the bots to marry their darlings.  
Driftlets are unusually gentle and well-behaved compared to other mechs their age because their parents raised them so well.  
Turmoil and Drift tell suitors they will not regret taking a Driftlet home. Driftlets make puppy eyes at suitors and promise to be very helpful brides.

-

A Driftlet crying because the mech they had their first time with won’t marry them :(  
The other other mech thought it was be a fun night, but the Driftlet wanted it to be forever.  
Drift holds the Driftlet and says it’s okay. He didn’t marry the mech he lost his virginity to.  
But he ended up with Turmoil, and what a love it was!


End file.
